witchsong top fives of 2015, other shit edition

We are just (mostly) girls moving through the world, and our interests are varied because we are, like, actual humans with actual lives doing actual things in many different cities. We got girlfriends, we got promotions, we didn’t get promotions, we cried, we spent embarrassing amounts of money on makeup, we got fake nails, we broke fake nails, we drank a lot of alcohol, we took selfies on the top of a fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas, we graduated, we won. And none of that fits on top five lists if we limit it to music or books or whatever. So here, to honor ourselves, are assorted top lists from the whole of 2015. And by assorted lists, I mean two lists from me and three from Tess.

Kenzie’s Top Five Makeup Releases of 2015 Based Only On Their Name

  1. Anastasia Beverly Hills, Sad Girl
  2. Kat Von D, Gold-Blooded
  3. Colourpop, DGAF
  4. Marc Jacobs, Goddess
  5. Bare Minerals, Caviar & Cake

Tess’s “top five things I was surprised to discover that I enjoy in 2015”

  1. Moving the bulk of my reading to ebooks in earnest and with intention, and trying not to be all precious about adding to my already staggering stacks of paperbacks, primed as they are, without any further growth, to topple toward the carpet and bury me alive. It was Apocalypse Baby by Virginie Despentes that did the trick, I think, that I liked it so much in a couple late spring afternoons even without having any pages to flip or bend or leave sweaty fingerprints upon.

  2. peeing with the door open while my girlfriend watches an australian children’s television show about teenage mermaids in the adjoining bedroom.

  3. not compulsively telling the internet every single thing I think or feel just to receive in exchange the false comfort of having written. (“written.”)

  4. men’s jeans. a logical alternative to consider when you’re sixty-five percent legs, largely hipless, naturally obstinate. I don’t need to tell you I look very good in them but I will.

  5. the fact that Louis Tomlinson, my December holiday birthday Mega Capricorn idiot baby, funny, prickly rat king of my gay-ass heart, boy bander, short person who pretends to be 5’9”, genuine trash human with a face of glass and dreams used his twenty-fourth year on this planet to get a chick pregnant and, literally, in real life, is about to be somebody’s father.

top five things that tess spent money on in 2015

  1. cutting off two thirds of my hair.
  2. get weird by little mix
  3. a wildly overpriced puzzle that I tracked down somewhere and purchased from an eccentric collector in Kentucky with a musical voice and, I feel certain, a handlebar mustache, because someone I love wanted it.
  4. the perfectly unremarkable pair of G by Guess black combat boots I got at the TJ Maxx across the parking lot one day because I had arrived early to work in sex knotted hair and dirty Vans, boots which announce my every step with fantastically loud, sharp cracks that my heart likes.
  5. A signed copy of Get In Trouble by Kelly Link that sleeps with me in my bed most nights.

“Five” Best Endings of 2015, as per Kenzie

  1. Grad School.
  2. The final, triumphant, choir-backed “we can live forever” of “History.”
  3. Definitely not One Direction, so.

top five things tess was grateful for in 2015

  1. Monster Zero Ultra, an energy drink much more garish in both taste and aesthetic than my old sugarfree Red Bulls, and thus infinitely more compelling.
  2. Selena Gomez
  3. the United States Women’s National Soccer Team
  4. Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer SPF 15
  5. Ugh, like. Love. All right?


About Kenzie

Kenzie was born in Ohio and never left. She is really bad at not crying but thankfully really good at applying (and re-applying) eyeliner.

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